I just bowled my first night in a singles scratch sports condition league. My last opponent that I faced was a very bad sport. I myself always tried to show good sportmanship at all times when I compete. When my opponent made her 1st spare I came up to her and try to give her a high 5 and before I could tell her nice shot she passed right by my open hand and just snubbed me. And she did see my open hand. It really hurt my feelings and felt kind of embarassed because she snubbed me. I just would like to hear different perspectives from you all of how to understand why are some people so stuck up and just plain old conceited and arrogant? Why do they feel the need to be that way? She in no way intimidated me and I showed her that I wasn't scared of her in anyway. I need some cheering up. I really felt like to haul off and just slap this person, but I know better than that. Thinking about it and doing it are 2 different things. And I always think before I do. The only thing that kept me from slapping the stew out of her, because she was such a snob was thinking to myself of what would Earl Anthony would have done in that situation. I want to be the next Earl out there and I know that he would of handled it the way I did and that was not to react to being snubbed and to shake it off, which sometimes is harder to do sometimes. But I just couldn't help but to think of how much it really hurt my feelings.It still hurts now.

Mary, you shouldn't have felt embarrassed because she snubbed you, she should have felt the embarrassment. I always try to encourage my opponents. You did the right thing. People will look up to you, for what you are doing, and down on her, for her poor sportsmanship. What I like to do, if I'm being snubbed, is smile big, and keep putting your hand up to give them five. Keep being the better person, no matter what. Don't let her get you down. Just smile bigger. Smiles are contagious. Keep being the better bowler!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA"> It really hurt my feelings and felt kind of embarassed because she snubbed me. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">Why would you think that her main goal in coming back from the foul line would be to make you feel better? I mean I'm going to be really really tough here. Because I know you are getting to that level where the tough just get tougher. Maybe her reactions had NOTHING to do with sportsmanship. Maybe she was thinking about what she had to do the next frame to adjust to the shot. Maybe she was so concentrated that she barely could even aknowledge you. Maybe she was totally frustrated and she did the best she could in her reception to you.

On the other hand, if in fact ("if") she snubbed you purposely, she got under your skin. Because you mention such in your post; several times. In fact you are still thinking about it today.

Bottom line. Earl would never have high 5'd anyone for a spare. He didn't even watch his opponents. What they did or how they received what he did on the lanes was NOTHING to him. And if you watch the pros today, they do the same thing. Rarely do you see them "high 5-ing" each other.

In my world, I'm happy for spares, but do expect them. Because I work hard to make sure I cover my spares. When I throw a really good shot, then the "high 5" from my peers, really means something, but is not nearly the feeling I give myself for performing well. Because in my world, I've picked up my spare, but I'm very concentrated on what I need to do the next time I pick up my ball. And that focus and concentration is there with me all game from frame to frame. In the course of that concentration, I may miss someone or decide not to unfocus for the hand slap. All the hand slapping gets distracting after a while. Remember you are not in some couples handicap fun league. You joined a scratch singles sport league. You have educated bowlers who each deal with competition differently.

Erin

Usually in competition, I don't high 5 anybody at all. I keep to myself and focus on my game, if somebody on my pair of lanes for the tournament is the high 5'ing kind and they like to talk it up with the other people on their lanes, I usually just sit a cahir or two away from this person and watch the other person's ball reaction and try to get a read on what is happening to the condition's out on the lane.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">Originally posted by Mary Allen:
I just bowled my first night in a singles scratch sports condition league. My last opponent that I faced was a very bad sport. I myself always tried to show good sportmanship at all times when I compete. When my opponent made her 1st spare I came up to her and try to give her a high 5 and before I could tell her nice shot she passed right by my open hand and just snubbed me. And she did see my open hand. It really hurt my feelings and felt kind of embarassed because she snubbed me. I just would like to hear different perspectives from you all of how to understand why are some people so stuck up and just plain old conceited and arrogant? Why do they feel the need to be that way? She in no way intimidated me and I showed her that I wasn't scared of her in anyway. I need some cheering up. I really felt like to haul off and just slap this person, but I know better than that. Thinking about it and doing it are 2 different things. And I always think before I do. The only thing that kept me from slapping the stew out of her, because she was such a snob was thinking to myself of what would Earl Anthony would have done in that situation. I want to be the next Earl out there and I know that he would of handled it the way I did and that was not to react to being snubbed and to shake it off, which sometimes is harder to do sometimes. But I just couldn't help but to think of how much it really hurt my feelings.It still hurts now. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">Mary Ellen,

When I'll bowling in tournaments or sports shots, I usually don't say anything unless the other guy makes a real good shot, and Then I'll say good pitch. I'm too busy concentrating on MY game, thinking about what adjustments, if any I gotta make. and going thruogh my own pre-shot routine, and since I have a Long pre-shot routine, I generally start it before its my turn to bowl. That way, when it my turn to bowl, I'm ready to go. On the other hand I generally dont walk by open hands in league play, in tournament play, I dont give fives for normal spares, unless someone makes a really hard spare...

Mary Ellen,

I think Erin, Joe, and ExBronxite are very much on target for the league you described.

First Strike

Oops! My bad. It's Mary Allen, not "Mary Ellen." My apologies. (And I'm an editor, too!) I guess I could blame it on the distracting clothes dryer that's beeping at me from the basement.

I guess the only thing is to only 5 five the people of who I really know and ignore the other bowlers that I don't know from Adam, would have been the lesson that I learned. I just hate being embarassed. The only thing that I can do is that I'll get her next time. I know that I'm a better bowler than she is and will never let someone like that ever get under my skin ever again. I just have to have the attitude of "it's just me and the lanes and leave it at that." One great thing about this sport league is that I get free unlimited open bowling practice. I will definately utilize those sessions to the best of my power and work on how I can make my shots better and train to really kick her a** next time. I just need an attitude adjustment from time to time that's all.

Painful lesson, but a good lesson. Go get her!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA"> I just hate being embarassed. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">I don't really understand why you were embarassed.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">I guess the only thing is to only 5 five the people of who I really know and ignore the other bowlers that I don't know from Adam, would have been the lesson that I learned.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="VERDANA,ARIAL,HELVETICA,TAHOMA">Why think of this whole thing negatively? I mean you've blown this whole thing up to be all about something done to you. And its sounding like you've also blown it all up out of proportion. And I bet its just a bowler concentrating and trying not to get distracted. I don't care if she's better then you or worse then you. You just cannot take these things (and I'm including other posts you've made) so personally. Its not all about YOU. They are playing their game the best they can....you should do the same.

Why not try to live off your game, instead of the need to be "high 5'd" by anyone. You're getting some sort of payback mentally from those pretty meaningless "high 5s" and I'd like to see you move on from there. You've mentioned in nearly all your posts that you want to be a pro bowler. Well if you are going to get there, you will have to dump this need you have for peers applauding you (high 5s) and seeing you as an acomplished bowler. Concentrate 110% on your game.

Erin