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#198668 - 12/16/17 11:02 PM Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach
Gutterballqueen313 Offline
Junior

Registered: 11/28/13
Posts: 26
A/S/L: 52/f/NY
Can anyone tell me if, as a general rule, you should NOT bring your cell phone/iPad/etc. on the approach when it's your turn?
We have a young girl on another team who does this, and even though she's been told not to do so, continues to do so anyway. Tonight my turn was the same as hers, and she would look at it or play music through it, while throwing the ball with her other hand. I found this inappropriate and distracting. I told her and her teammates and they dismissed it saying "it's a mixed league."

One of my ex-teammates (can't bowl due to injury) asked why it bothered me, and I explained. He went on the attack. For some reason he thought I was "acting like a retard" because it bothered me, but didn't bother him. We got into an argument and he told me, among other things, to jump off a bridge because I was "being a b", and other curse words. Nobody defended me, but his girlfriend and father defended him. (He is 37 years old.)

Nobody in the league has done anything yet either, although I made them aware of the problem. I am considering quitting this league.

There's a rule about it in our league, but they don't enforce it. What would you do in a situation like this?




Edited by Gutterballqueen313 (12/16/17 11:05 PM)
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#198669 - 12/16/17 11:22 PM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: Gutterballqueen313]
djp1080 Offline
Team USA Contender

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 411
A/S/L: 70/m/IL
Lynda, There are likely plenty of leagues that have rules (and they should) that mention that no electronic devices be used on the lanes or in the settee area.
It's likely that vulgar language not be used as well, etc.
You should address the matter with your league secretary or president and let them handle it in the best way.
If you have regulations addressing this type of thing, your league officials should uphold the rules or a team captain meeting should be called to makes changes.
Hope it all works out okay... Strange world we live in, isn't it?

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#198670 - 12/16/17 11:54 PM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: Gutterballqueen313]
Gutterballqueen313 Offline
Junior

Registered: 11/28/13
Posts: 26
A/S/L: 52/f/NY
They do have a rule about language but it isn't enforced. The league is run more like a private family league than a public one. There are a lot of family members on there who have relatives in the league. At least 70% of the league is families related to each other. I've noticed that, in the 5 years I've been bowling with them, there is favoritism among the family members. Many of them freely use the F, B, & S words without blinking an eye. It's against the rules, but they keep on doing it anyway. If anyone tries to address it, and it involves one of them, it's dismissed because they're the League President's or Treasurer's dad, brother, sister in law, etc.

These same family members also bring their children in. One child, a 4 year old boy, brings his toys and strews them all over the floor. (But not on the bowling floor per se.) Tonight he was throwing a mini football across the lanes, occasionally hitting bowlers. Again, nothing was done because he is the nephew of the League President. I tried to bring this to the President's attention, but it was dismissed because he's "just a little kid."

To top it all off, at the League Meeting tonight, the alley we have bowled at is now closing at the end of this year (2017), and while they'll be moving to another location, the guy who brought me won't be going with them. I decided, in light of all of these things, to not return. I cannot bowl in a league where the rules are not enforced and that if you're related to the League President, Treasurer, etc. you can say or do whatever you want. Sick of the favoritism, the flippant attitudes, and being treated like I have no right to an opinion when I express it.


Edited by Gutterballqueen313 (12/16/17 11:57 PM)
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#198678 - 12/18/17 12:18 PM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: Gutterballqueen313]
mmalsed Offline
Virtual League Champion

Registered: 10/18/10
Posts: 1378
A/S/L: 43/M/Riverside, CA
I know plenty of people who bowl with headphones and their phone (or music player) in their pocket.

But you're saying she was carrying her phone in her HAND? Really? She doesn't start with the ball in both hands?

Honestly, sounds more like she doesn't care and is there because she has to.


Having some music in leagues . . . I don't have a problem with it. Tournaments typically seem to say no to that, and I'm good with that too. But in league. . . meh. My stepson uses it to help him focus. We might start my wife doing that as other hijiinks can easily fluster her as well.

But having a phone in the other hand is a hazard. That is a safety issue.

I know a guy who holds his towel in his off-hand, and that's fine, it's not tethered to him, he uses it to wipes his ball, no big deal. And if it flies out of his hand (which it has) it tends to flutter left and land on the approach next to him.

A PHONE? C'mon. You could put an eye out with that thing. . .


As far as rules enforcement, though? Get your team captain to call a captains' meeting. If it's a sanctioned league, the captains should have a definite say. In fact, I THINK the captains can bump officers if they don't do what they should.

But if the entire league is that way, nothing you can do but vote with your feet. We did. We've moved through a few leagues, now, looking for a good league and we think we've found it. smile You'll be happier!
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#198679 - 12/18/17 01:40 PM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: mmalsed]
djp1080 Offline
Team USA Contender

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 411
A/S/L: 70/m/IL
Mmalsed, You brought up a couple of things that made me think. The bowler she's talking about certainly doesn't care about anyone but herself and it is a safety issue.
I'm sometimes irritated by certain folks tendencies while up on the approach and I'd rather concentrate on something else. I've been considering bringing headphones with me and put on some music that I like to distract me from these other folks. smile I always have my cell phone with me and it's in its leather case clasped to my belt with the ringer switch in the OFF position.
Regarding the towel one of the guys places his towel in his armpit of his bowling arm to make sure he keeps his arm close to his body. I've never seen him drop it on the lanes. No problem!
I like it when they turn on some music, but generally it's when there are no leagues.
Good luck to Lynda at another place to bowl and a new league...
Stay with the sport and have fun elsewhere...

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#198680 - 12/18/17 06:21 PM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: mmalsed]
Gutterballqueen313 Offline
Junior

Registered: 11/28/13
Posts: 26
A/S/L: 52/f/NY
Originally Posted By: mmalsed
I know plenty of people who bowl with headphones and their phone (or music player) in their pocket.

But you're saying she was carrying her phone in her HAND? Really? She doesn't start with the ball in both hands?


Yes. She walks up to the ball return, phone in hand looking/playing with it, picks up her ball while tucking the phone in her elbow, throws the ball with one hand (with music playing on the phone speakers) while holding the phone in the other, then continues to look at/play with it. She then turns around and walks away without waiting to see the pin reaction. Then, if she has to make a spare, she repeats the process.
She is a young girl, in her 20s and plays on one of the other teams.

Earlier that night she was so busy playing with her phone that she had to be told to take her turn because others were waiting. (BTW in case I didn't explain "why" this bothered me, it was because our turns coincided. Often when it was my turn it was also hers. Because I have trouble enough focusing and concentrating, this girl and her phone/iPod/etc. distracted me. Yes, she was playing music and videos out loud on her phone ON THE LANES DURING HER TURN.)

She is an amateur bowler, and was told by the League Secretary to not bring her phone on the lanes or approach - leave it at the table, but what apalled me was that she bickered about it, then continued to do the thing she was told not to. My own teammates told her it was OK for her to bring it because "it's a fun league." I overheard her say at one point that she didn't like the fact I told the League Secretary on her and "she should've come to my face." That and my teammate's (I'll call him "M") unwillingness to understand why it bothered me (and harassment towards me).

What made the situation worse was that during the time M was harassing and threatening me, NOTHING was done. NOBODY attempted to step in. Nobody except those around me knew (or cared?) what was going on. The others nearby were M's dad, the M's girlfriend/wife (not sure), the girl herself and a few other bowlers. All I heard besides his ranting and raving was "oh my God" and "what the H" from the girlfriend/wife. I could not believe that my other teammates did not intervene or do anything. When I finally told M I quit (and he kept b**ching me out) I told the League Secretary what happened and that I would never return. I was so angry and hurt I walked home, a 20 minute walk. (I'm highly sensitive to anger and criticism.)

Originally Posted By: mmalsed
As far as rules enforcement, though? Get your team captain to call a captains' meeting. If it's a sanctioned league, the captains should have a definite say. In fact, I THINK the captains can bump officers if they don't do what they should.

But if the entire league is that way, nothing you can do but vote with your feet. We did. We've moved through a few leagues, now, looking for a good league and we think we've found it. smile You'll be happier!


I don't know if they will have a meeting or not. I decided after being harassed and (IMO) verbally abused by M to never return. What kind of teammate tells someone to "jump off a F ing bridge"? M showed me that he really didn't like me when he shot off his mouth. (Did I mention that he's a drunkard who comes to the alley drunk, takes cigarette breaks during gameplay (thus holding up the game), and can't bowl until next year because broke his ribs? He's a real piece of work, sorry to say.) I had been led to believe that he and other bowlers enjoyed having me there, but apparently that wasn't true.

The incidents I mentioned involving the members' use of foul language, letting their kids engage in horseplay, etc. has always been a problem. Little to nothing has been done. When I've brought it to a League officer's attention, they tried to dismiss it by saying there's nothing they could do. Over the 5 years I was there, I observed favoritism among family members related to the League President. Saturday's incident with M and his mouth was the icing on the cake, and from that point on, I was DONE.

That bowling alley has had a bad reputation for years because of the owners' refusal to make improvements or step in when necessary, and looking back, I can say now that I'll be glad it's closing, because they did not make a real effort to make it a safer and better place. They were the only alley left with wooden lanes and 1958 AMF 82-30 pinsetters (noisiest pinsetters around, LOL).

I'm sad too that the League Secretary who encouraged me to join, and was one of my only friends there, never answered my PMs (we're friends on Facebook) or anything. Normally he is prompt in responding but after attempting to reach out to him and getting silence in return, I don't know what to think. I've already told him I will not be back and that, if nobody can or will listen to or defend me, I can't bowl with them. GOOD RIDDANCE.

I'll be moving on to a better league. smile


Edited by Gutterballqueen313 (12/18/17 06:59 PM)
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#198681 - 12/18/17 07:19 PM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: Gutterballqueen313]
Dylan585 Offline
2X Virtual League Champion

Registered: 03/18/14
Posts: 292
A/S/L: 20/m/ny
I don't know where in NY youre from but I'm in Rochester and looking to put a new team together
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#198688 - 12/19/17 04:28 AM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: Dylan585]
Gutterballqueen313 Offline
Junior

Registered: 11/28/13
Posts: 26
A/S/L: 52/f/NY
Aww thanx. smile I'm 3 or 4 hours away though. I live in Menands, NY. I am thinking of going up to Troy where there's a fine and well maintained reputable bowling alley.
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#198689 - 12/19/17 06:24 AM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: Gutterballqueen313]
Dennis Michael Offline
Virtual League Champion

Registered: 12/11/05
Posts: 9680
A/S/L: M/Barrington, Ill
Rules mean nothing unless there is a penalty for breaking them. That seems to be the missing piece.

USBC does have rules about being ready when its your turn and not delaying the league play.

A few years ago, the USBC addressed a couple of issues.
1. Wearing brimmed caps while bowling
2. Listening to music while bowling

The thought on brimmed caps was that it focused your eyes down and gave an advantage to the wearer.
The thought on earphones and music was that a repetitive song could be used to maintain your tempo and speed in the approach

Both issues were tabled, and under consideration for a year. The next year, they were not removed from the table and died.

I did coach Juniors, and it was taught NOT to bring cell phones in the settee area or on the approach. Penalty was a loss of turn. With 0 recorded.

If this is a safety issue, it is up to the House to enforce. If they do nothing, you are SOL.

Find another league. Has to be some at another house.

It seems that you are in that generation gap where the use of profanity is common to younger people. Personally, I don't appreciate it either.
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#198694 - 12/19/17 08:46 AM Re: Bowler brings her iPod/iPhone on the approach [Re: Dennis Michael]
Gutterballqueen313 Offline
Junior

Registered: 11/28/13
Posts: 26
A/S/L: 52/f/NY
Originally Posted By: Dennis Michael
Rules mean nothing unless there is a penalty for breaking them. That seems to be the missing piece.

USBC does have rules about being ready when its your turn and not delaying the league play.

A few years ago, the USBC addressed a couple of issues.
1. Wearing brimmed caps while bowling
2. Listening to music while bowling

The thought on brimmed caps was that it focused your eyes down and gave an advantage to the wearer.
The thought on earphones and music was that a repetitive song could be used to maintain your tempo and speed in the approach

Both issues were tabled, and under consideration for a year. The next year, they were not removed from the table and died.

I did coach Juniors, and it was taught NOT to bring cell phones in the settee area or on the approach. Penalty was a loss of turn. With 0 recorded.

If this is a safety issue, it is up to the House to enforce. If they do nothing, you are SOL.

Find another league. Has to be some at another house.

It seems that you are in that generation gap where the use of profanity is common to younger people. Personally, I don't appreciate it either.


I'm in my early 50s, but just about everyone in that league uses foul language, ranging in ages from early 20s to late 60s.

I mentioned it to the House owner, and he said it was up to the League officers. I haven't heard anything from anyone about the incident, or the bowler I mentioned (I'll call her "H"). I guess they won't do anything, which is typical for them. They don't want to drive away any bowlers, and certainly those related to the League President, so they just let everything go.

The problem with that league is, they have NO penalties for breaking the rules so everyone pretty much does and says whatever they want. I saw this happen many times during my 5 year stay. Like I said, nothing was done and League officers always treated it with a "What do you want us to do?" attitude. I began to see that they did this to keep the better bowlers coming and also coddle those related to the League President. It became more and more obvious that they weren't interested in enforcing any of the rules EXCEPT paying dues timely.

BTW, can you tell me if there is a rule in the USBC prohibiting ANY devices on the settee area or lanes? I wasn't sure if this girl was using a cell phone or iPod. I know that if it only included cell phones, some bowlers would probably find a way to get around it, by bringing an mp3 player, iPad, Kindle, etc. Is the rule clear that NO devices of any kind can be there?

Fortunately, that House is closing anyway, and the league moving elsewhere. I won't be moving with them.


Edited by Gutterballqueen313 (12/19/17 08:54 AM)
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