That does sound as though you are standing cross legged at the beginning of the approach.
Joel, I wish I were there, to help you out on the lane. It sounds like there may be something simple going wrong. The thing to remember, is that everything written about approach and delivery, is ordered in a way to bring some universal truth to the methodology. It isn't written in stone, because there are too many professional bowlers that break the rules and still bowl well.
We have talked before about the purpose of 3, 4, 5, and 6 step approaches with the emphisis on the timing steps. In reality all of the steps are timing steps except the last one.
The slide begins at the top of the backswing, and delivery follows. If you can perform this portion of the maneuver, with this timing, no other steps are necessary. However they do help to regulate timing and power, they are really accademic.
So however you get to the line that is comfortable for you, leaves you in a position for the timing of the slide/delivery, and allows you to end in a balanced, leveraged, finishing position, is the right approach for you.
Knowing that very few people, other than dancers, know their true body position. It is very difficult to advise you over the web, without the visual feedback needed for proper correction.
As a rule of thumb, your feet will move in one of two lines. Either a parallel line, or a serial line, like walking a tightrope. Either way the sliding foot on the last step should come to the center of the body, (like walking a tightrope). From there the balance point becomes your center and is based on that foot. The toe should be kicked slightly out, the sliding leg hip flexed down, (like going into a squatting position), the trailing leg angled back in order to bring the body into an approximate 45 degree position, and the ball delivered directly beneath the nose. The balance arm raises to a position to align the shoulders for this delivery.
If you can do this, you won't tug the ball or push the ball, the delivery will be consistant and repeatable.
But without video feedback, it is very difficult to know if what you feel, is correct. We may feel like we lost balance, when in acuality we pushed the ball, causing it to go out of time forward, pulling us sideways. The early timing has placed the swinging weight of the ball in a position the body is not yet ready to counter. All the feedback we get is the feeling of imbalance. But the problem is free arm swing.
Until we can get enough visual feedback to associate the feeling we get, with the actual root cause, then we are just guessing at what went wrong.
Hope that makes sense...