Bowled my regular league at 8 tonight and subbed in a first-shift league in the same center.
As a sub: 160-170-162 = 492.
As a regular: 168-154-160 = 482.
I bowl with players who have to stand practically on top of the left gutter and swing out to around 15 at arrows to a breakpoint of 5 to keep the ball on the lane. I can't do that, I don't know how to do that and I don't even try to do that.
The only good thing about any of this is that I started to make my 10-pins and my 6-10s again. I hadn't made one of either in a month. I get down on myself very easily and cuss myself out when I get back to the settee (and sometimes I don't wait even that long).
People pat me on the back and tell me I need to lighten up and not ride myself so hard. Believe me, I'd love to do that. I still have the idea in the back of my head, though, that if I don't kick my own @ss, someone else will. That belief has been there since I was about 8 years old. When I bowled candlepin, my father indeed used to do that to me. (All the way through juniors and then I was a teammate of his for a year in a men's league right before heading off to college.)
I am no longer on speaking terms with him -- one reason why Thanksgiving is easily my least favorite holiday. Being away from any form of bowling for 10 years meant it had been a very long time since I'd done this sort of thing to myself, and I've forgotten how to deal
with it. Definitely my physical game has issues, but if I don't get out of my own head first, I'll never make any progress.